Ch 2: A Culture of Fear

Two years ago I had two students who were best friends and they were the students from the fiery place down under. One was atheist and the other agnostic and both were angry, verbally combative kids. Religion class became a them vs. me battle as I tried patiently to explain the imperfections of our church over time combined with the perfect, unchanging teachings of Jesus. My goal was to try to open their hearts so they would be receptive to consider another viewpoint and hopefully create positive behavior and interactions with others. And, as Palmer wrote I was obsessed with them. I couldn't understand why I wasn't making headway and my frustration grew as the year progressed. I usually connected easily with my students and it wasn't happening with them. Their family situations were anti-school and that fueled the diffiulties. By the end of the year little progress was made and I was discouraged and fearful I had lost my effectiveness. Looking back, I think my fears of not reaching them and what that said about me as a teacher, got in the way of breaking through to them. So as I reflect on the chapter and this experience I remind myself of Parker's words, "each time I walk in the classroom I can choose the place within myself from which teaching will come, just as I can choose the place within my students toward which teaching will be aimed. I need not teach from a fearful place."